written by Annette Pearson

I met my husband, Tom, on match.com, I didn’t contact him at first, and he was completely different than what I was looking for or what I thought I was looking for. Tom and I had our first date on 8/12/2005 and it was an instant dream connection.  Tom had two kids from his first marriage and we all sort of just “went together” and formed an instant family. Shortly into our relationship, Tom told me he had a vasectomy after the birth of his daughter in 2001. I was devastated but he told me that he would be willing to have it reversed because he wanted a family with me. We were married March 24, 2007 and Tom has the reversal in February 2008.

I have had seven laparoscopy procedures for endometriosis, cysts, fibroids, etc. but the Dr’s told me I could still have children; what they didn’t tell me is I had uterine septum, which was the cause of my previous two miscarriages. They also did not tell me that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Both I would find out while being treated for infertility.

Tom and I tried to have children on our own and were not successful; we tried it all, temperature, diet, herbs, acupuncture but nothing was working. We went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who did some tests and confirmed that Tom did not have optimal sperm quality and that combined with my history, she gave us less than a 3% chance of conceiving on our own. The Dr recommended Intra Uterine Insemination (IUI) with Clomid. After two rounds we were still not pregnant so we started the path to IVF.

There is so much involved with IVF; from the financial verification to the required classes, the paperwork testing and the shots but we were determined. During one of the tests the Dr found that I had a uterine septum, which would need to be surgically repaired. Without the repair, I would continue to miscarry. Forty-five days post surgery we were able to start our first IVF cycle. I started to receive my three shots a day in my belly, daily ultrasounds and daily blood draws….

The day came for our retrieval, our finances only allowed one shot and we had to get this right. I went to the procedure with 40 follicles and from those 40 follicles they were able to retrieve 15 eggs. We used a combination of traditional insemination and ICSI (injecting the sperm into the egg), 10 were treated the traditional way and 5 with ICSI. Of the 10, none were fertilized. Of the five, four were fertilized. The embryologist concluded, based on these results, that Tom and I would never be able to conceive outside of a lab. We had four embryos to start; two were put into my womb, one was a six cell with fragmentation and the other was eight cells with no fragmentation. The other two did not make it passed four cells.  The Dr told me to start thinking of names for the eight cells; I of course was already thinking what we would do next when this failed.  The next five days were pure torture, especially since I did nothing but stay in bed based on the Dr’s advice.

10/1/2009 I found out I was pregnant. When the Dr called, I asked “so what do we do next”, she replied “nothing, you’re pregnant”. I didn’t believe her..but she ordered a repeat HSG on 10/5 to make sure my levels were increasing and on my birthday I found out that for sure I was pregnant. The joy was short lived, on 10/8 I started cramping and bleeding.  By the 11th, I was bleeding heavier than the heaviest of periods. I went to the ER and after eight hours they told me although the ultrasound shows a pregnancy the pregnancy was not viable and it was only a matter of time until I lost the baby or until the Dr’s terminated the pregnancy. I was placed on strict bed rest. We had our six week ultrasound and there was a heartbeat, of 172 BPM, but I was still bleeding very heavy, bed rest was changed from strict to modified.  At week ten I had severe cramps and was doubled over in pain, a few days later I passed a significant clot in the toilet. I called the Dr on call who told me most likely I had a miscarriage and I should report to the office at 8am the next morning to confirm. Tom and I cried the whole night, the next morning we carried in a bag with the clot and went for our ultrasound. We were prepared at this point to here we had lost our baby. To our surprise, there she was with a strong heartbeat. Even the Dr’s were surprised.  From this the Dr’s were able to determine that I had a clot right above my cervix, which was causing the bleeding and pain.

The bleeding stopped as I entered my second trimester but I was still so fearful. Besides developing gestational diabetes, the second trimester was pretty uneventful.  The third trimester brought one more challenge; on one of my routine diabetes screens they saw a spot on the babies heart and sent me to see a pediatric cardiologist at 34 weeks.  The spot turned out to be artifact but would be confirmed by an echo after the baby was born.

I was induced on 6/5/2010 and Faith Nellie Beatrice was born on 6/6/2010 at 8:22am. Her Apgar score was 9! During the IVF and pregnancy, my husband just kept telling me to have Faith and we prayed together every day for our beautiful baby. Guess what..we have Faith!

My husband and I were married in March and were trying to get pregnant by July. Long before we wed, we discussed how we wanted to start a family immediately. We knew we may not get pregnant right away, but were ill prepared for the path our conception efforts would take.

Because we wanted to get pregnant quickly, I started charting my Basal body temperature from the beginning. It was only three months before we knew something was wrong. I had a flat temperature for three months straight and I had also ceased having a regular monthly cycle. I had recently had a string of urinary tract infections and thought they could be related, so I went to see my OB. She ran some tests and found that I had no trace of infection left, then suggested my lack of menses was due to the stress of getting married and trying to start a family. She said I should relax, practice breathing exercises, and keep a journal. After a few more months and still no regular cycle, I went to a new OB. She also told me that I was causing my own problems through stress and if I just relaxed, I would be fine. A third OB said the same but agreed to do a fertility workup after we’d been trying for a year.

One year after trying to conceive, we started the fertility workups with our new OB. She could find no reason I was not ovulating, so started me on Clomid. The first month of Clomid I ovulated and experienced a chemical pregnancy. That would be the last cycle I would ovulate while on Clomid. My OB tried a series of dosages and varied the days of my cycle the Clomid was taken, but invariably I would end each month with a dosage of progesterone to bring on a cycle so that I could start again. Several months later, I was finally able to get an appointment with an RE.

My RE did a complete fertility workup on both my husband and myself. Everything from PCOS to endometriosis to male factor infertility was ruled out, and we were given the unfortunate diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.” I reminded my new doctor about the repeat UTIs that happened just before our problems started, but he said that infections had already been ruled out and they did not affect our current problems. My RE kept me on Clomid, monitoring me through ultrasound. He said that I was producing follicles, but they were not dropping for some reason. We added an injection of Novarel to my monthly drug cocktail, which was meant to force the follicle to drop, which was followed shortly by IUI. The Novarel did not work; I still did not ovulate.

My husband and I reached the conclusion that we were spending far too much time and money on fertility treatments when we could be devoting our efforts toward adoption. At the end of two years, we agreed on one final month of trying to conceive, then we would start adoption proceedings. I went to my RE with the news and told him that I wanted to try something else. I’d done some research and thought that a stronger drug would be the practical choice for our last ditch effort. My RE agreed to a cocktail of Clomid combined with Repronex, followed by Novarel. At first, it seemed as though the Repronex was not working, so my RE increased the dosage. At that point, my ovaries kicked into overdrive. I produced 20 follicles. Through some fancy dosaging, my RE thought he could get the largest of the follicles to increase in size enough to release while the others stayed behind, hopefully dissolving on their own. In the end, eight of the 20 follicles released and though our RE advised against it (fearing multiples), we continued with the IUI. We became pregnant with a singleton, our son.

After giving birth to our son, we wanted to get pregnant again, but my husband and I agreed that we would not pursue fertility treatments. It was too emotionally and physically draining, and with the money that we might spend on fertility treatments, we could put our son through college! We thought that it would have to happen the old fashioned way or not at all. Our doctors assured us that it would not happen at all as I simply was not ovulating. We still didn’t know why. The latest doctor I had seen had suggested I had andometriosis, a disorder that is undiagnosable without a hysterectomy.

About three more years passed when I decided to dig out a book I had bought just before we got pregnant with our son. It is called “The Infertility Diet” and suggests natural ways to cause one’s body to cooperate. I was still holding onto my idea that the recurrent UTIs from years earlier had contributed in some way to my problems. I learned that andometriosis, like endometriosis, can be caused by the same toxins that contribute to yeast infections and UTIs. Through the infertility diet, I stopped eating any foods that could contribute to the growth of yeast – this included yeasted breads, sugar, and all dairy. At the same time I was training for my first marathon. Toward the end of my marathon training I was finding myself exhausted all the time and after a couple of months on the diet, I had not yet experienced a cycle. I thought that marathon training in conjunction with the dietary change was causing my body too much stress so I decided to start the diet again once the marathon was over.

A few days after the marathon, I found myself very ill. I felt fine except for extreme nausea, which is not uncommon for me after a race. What was uncommon was the amount of time it lasted – after nearly a week of constant illness, my husband picked up a pregnancy test. We were shocked when it was immediately positive – the test line showed before the control lines! A visit with the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. We are now in our 2nd month and are still working on overcoming the shock of getting pregnant without medical intervention!

In 2006, my husband of 7 years and I decided to start our family. After one month of trying, I was pregnant. We had a great pregnancy and have a beautiful 2 year old girl now. Over a year ago, we decided we needed more children and expected to get pregnant very quickly like before. 14 months later, after two rounds of fertility meds and many many tests, we still have unexplained infertility. Our specialist gave us a bit of hope for this month, but today our test came back negative and we are both devastated. I came across this site through twitter and it has blessed me beyond belief tonight. I can’t thank you enough for being here, right where I needed you. God Bless you all and I hope miracles happen for each of you!

by Elizabeth

Elizabeth has created a video she would like to share with us.  This video shows us her long heart filled struggle with infertility.

My husband and I have struggled with infertility for almost 6 years.  We got pregnant once in October 2006 but sadly that pregnancy was ectopic and we lost our baby and part of my left fallopian tube, it was a very traumatic time as I was rushed to emergency surgery.  We thought after that maybe it would be easier to get pregnant but sadly it hasn’t been so far and we have tried for 2 and a half years since then including procedures, medications, surgery and four iui’s, but nothing so far has worked but we live in hope that one day we can overcome this and have our much wanted child.

My husband and I got married later in life. I was 42 years. He was 38. My mom had several miscarriages and I had just assumed because of my late start and her history being a biological parent would not be an option for me. I was shocked to learn I was pregnant a couple of months after our wedding.  I lost the baby in my first trimester. It was devastating. I suddenly realized just how much I wanted to become a parent.  My husband also wanted to be a father. He really wanted to have a genetic link to our child.  Because of my age the best chance for becoming parents was using an egg donor.
It took us 9 months to find an egg donor. The process felt long and difficult. How do you know who is the right donor for you?   We found somebody we felt was perfect.  She had my physical characteristics which was important to us.  She even loved to play softball which was a passion of mine.  I was about to begin my course of medication and we had the date to do the transfer.  We got a call and were told that our donor was pregnant.  We had to begin again.  I felt like I had lost another baby. A friend gave us a fertility statue that she claimed had worked for 2 relatives.  I kept it by my bed and rubbed it’s belly every night and said a little prayer.
We renewed our search and after several more months we found another egg donor.  We called her the “gift lady” because we couldn’t imagine a more amazing gift to give to anybody.  She gave us 9 eggs which resulted in 4 frozen blastocysts.
I remember quite clearly the day the doctor did the transfer. It was a doctor we had not met before. He came in with his surgical mask on and transferred 2 blastocysts. He slapped me on the back and said it was “a good day to get pregnant.” I called him “the lone ranger” because we never did see his face. He was right.  I got pregnant. I had chosen to keep my infertility journey a secret from everybody but close family and a few close friends. I didn’t want to have to answer lots of questions and continue to talk about our struggles with infertility. Infertility became all consuming for me and on my mind and in my heart all of the time.  We learned I was pregnant. A few days later we had an  unexpected  meeting at work.  They called us in to tell us we were all losing our jobs.  It was incredibly sad.  Later that week I had another miscarriage. I always felt the stress of that experience contributed to my miscarriage.
We had one final chance. We had agreed if this didn’t work that our quest to be parents would end. The embryologist told us one of the blastocysts looked “marginal” and the other looked “really good” He gave us two minutes to decide whether to implant both of them. We chose to implant only the one “good one”. I again learned I was pregnant.  I was very nervous during my pregnancy fearful something would go wrong. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe everything was OK till I saw and held my baby. My husband was the eternal optimist.  We were blessed with our daughter, Grace, when she arrived one month before my 46th birthday.  Our infertility journey took three and a half years. We called her Grace because we were so “amazed” by her.  She is almost nine now and continues to amaze us on a daily basis. We have never forgotten how blessed we are.